To my dear daughter...

It really matters to me whether you’re sad, happy, stress or whatever it is. And don’t say I don’t have to care about you. It’s only natural that I care about you. Like you, when I don’t need you to care, you just do. And that’s really kind of you. And it is NOT a waste of time. Instead I’ll say it’s a good use of time! I will do my best not to wear this mask, only in front of you, anymore. But you have to promise me you won’t lie about how you feel. Cause I can see right through you. Like I told you that day, don’t lie to me when I know you’re not feeling that way. Why I wear this mask is cos I don’t like people to see that I’m hurting inside or I’m vulnerable or whatever it is. Yes you were right, I don’t want people to know what’s happening in my head. I hate opening up about some things. If I had the answers to why things are happening to me, you’d be the first to know. You’re the bestest friend, even better, daughter!! Now that you know a part of me, just keep it to yourself kay? The personal stuff, you know what I’m talking about… Don’t worry, papa’s strong.

We celebrated Nydia’s birthday yesterday; here are some of the pictures. (:

I hate my life, I hate wearing a mask. And I’m getting tired. But, what for? I’ve been holding on since god knows when. And to give up now would be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. So, I’m still gonna hold on. But only my daughter could see through this thick mask. Thanks for being the one I could trust.

I wish you hadn’t messaged me. I really felt like tearing it all. It’s like you’re killing me slowly, making me suffer each second. Do I still love you? I won’t tell you the answer. But instead, you think! After all you put me through, you still think so? I’m not that dumb you know... Even if you say you won’t, I can never know when you’d turn around and ask me to fuck off again, remember? So now I’ll tell it to you. “Fuck off and go find someone else!” And I warn you, I don’t care if that guy got you pregnant, but let me tell you this. Don’t come finding me. I don’t care anymore. If you do, I’m just gonna make sure you’re being left there crying. I swear. So fuck off.